Instant Messaging : Rules of Engagement.
by Vijay Anand
More and more I see this happening. I am logged onto most of the IM networks, from Office, Mobile, Home, and several devices. Whatever status you wish to show – busy, online, available, paranoid don’t really matter no more. Some folks are just permanently affixiated with certain statuses and close friends would know. Others dont. And when the rules are not clear, chaos reigns high.
There is also an assumption that if someone is online also means they are available. Lets not talk about all those embarassing moments, when we forgot to go “offline” on chat, and had some very personal messages displayed on the projector in the middle of a meeting. Oh, am I the only person to whom this happened? Oh boy!
But coming back to the topic, the point is that even though Instant Messaging is supposed to be “always on”, it still might be common courtesy to follow some rules, especially in this day and age where everything and anything seems to be demanding attention, and the option to avoid will go a long way to ensure that your relationship doesnt snap.
This is a simple rule that I follow, and those around me by now have come to know. Whenever I do see someone online and do want to talk to them, I send them a simple “?”. If they are in the middle of something, they either say so, or just ignore, and I assume that they are unavailable. If they respond back, then we chat. If they arent there, they always get back when they see the ominous question mark waiting for them.
Simple, but you have no idea how easy it makes life sometimes. The option to opt-out and not have to pay attention in real-time, is a luxury and anyone you can give this option to, will eventually thank you for it.
True. I have a similar protocol established with my wife to avoid any embarrasments due to IM messages..
Guess, Twitter DM is the new IM. As there is no immediate obligation to respond, guess DM works. I stay invisible in all IMs and most friends ping me through twitter DM first and then we take it up in IMs.
This was after those embarassing moments in meetings (as most close friends start a conversation in India with a swear word
)
That gives me an idea: Screen setup dialogs should allow to mark screens as “Public”. Applications, before opening a window (like chat messages, popups,) should first check the “public” state of the screen and hide them by giving a more discreet alert (if screen is shared). Or open on private screen instead(if public and private screens are different).
Wonder how many I embarrassed so far, but yes I do something close. Just that the question mark is longer by a “busy”! But recently, I have resorted to something easier. I am eternally offline, unless I am totally jobless.
That’s true. However, choose to put it otherwise. I am on invisible mode often and my close associates know that. Others think I am unavailable and shoot me an email instead
Oops, I just made that public
Instead of “?”, I use “hey”.
Simply impressed with the web design, layout and content!
I always log out when I go for meetings. I think that’s a safer option.
A growing trend is people staying invisible….I do it most of the time….”ping” is sent first and then if the response comes, chat ensues…
I love yahoo for their feature of being able to group people and be online to particular groups…helps keep away those embarrassing chats away